Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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