Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
