I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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