why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
