What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
