you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
