Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
