i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize