After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
