I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
