Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
