Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
