if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
