Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There was a lot of him and a little penis
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
