i don't plan on having that self control this summer
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
