I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
These tits shall not be calmed
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