wakey wakey hands off snakey
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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