you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
