:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
