your room smells of hookers.
And success
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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