We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
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