it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
