why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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