i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
