Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize