But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize