i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
