I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
