Soap is not a condiment
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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