we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Come share oat with me in your robe
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
