You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
