Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
