I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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