i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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