She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
