any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
