Someone shit on the floor
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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