so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
