Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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