im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Are my feet made of real feet?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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