did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
