You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
