I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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