So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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