I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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