No, you can still breathe under the balls.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
