Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
