It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
