You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
