I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Ketchup is God's man juice
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
