It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
