So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
there is puke in my bra ... again
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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