yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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