Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You work out of a Hotel?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
