Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
