Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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