If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
