Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
