Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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