idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and she was petting her beer can
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it's not cheating when I paid for it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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