That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
