all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
