I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
