her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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