Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
